Peak Services recently completed an evaluation of a book manuscript by Casey Gushikuma. Here is an excerpt from the evaluation:
The Kumasogami (hereafter referred to as TK) is an engrossing collection of Japanese tales for a young audience.…The elements of Japanese history and culture were rendered with attention to detail and accuracy, and the conflict between religion based tribes and profit-based societies was captured well.
Most important perhaps is that TK encourages the development of a moral perspective—critical for young readers, especially in a world where exploiting people and natural resources for political or economic gain is all too common. By imbuing characters, including other creatures, with magical qualities, TK allows its readers to expand their sympathies and to see that virtuous acts have lasting power.
Matsuo Bashō's classic Oku no Hosomichi is now available in a new translation by Dennis Kawaharada. Titled Summer Grasses, Autumn Wind: An Illustrated Translation of Basho's Narrow Roads of the Deep North, the book has been issued in color and black-and-white editions.
Description from the Amazon.com page on the book:
"[Summer Grasses, Autumn Wind] is illustrated with color photos and Edo Period art and maps. The text includes a short biography and notes on literary, cultural, religious, geographical, and lunar-calendrical contexts, along with 262 notes explaining the details of references to these contexts. The 173 Illustrations include over 100 photographs taken on road trips between 2005–2017 documenting what the places and landscapes mentioned in the text look like today."
Peak Services assisted with the proofreading. Our thanks to Dennis Kawaharada for allowing us to work on this book.
The following guest post is by Pat McAndrew, an inspiring actor and tech activist. We invited Pat to share his work.
Building The Low Tech Trek has been an exciting journey. It started as a supplement to my one-man show REEL, which was performed in the 2017 United Solo Theatre Festival in New York City. REEL is about technology’s impact on human relationships and how we connect to one another in the digital age.
Once the show closed, it became my mission to keep The Low Tech Trek going. At the time, it was a rare breed, but over the course of the past year, awareness regarding technology’s impact on our cognitive and social development has skyrocketed. Tristan Harris and other collaborators formed the Center for Humane Technology, a nonprofit organization dedicated to developing more humane, people-centered technology, which is a great contrast from the attention-sucking industry that is currently king of the castle.
While the development of new design is crucially important today, I wanted The Low Tech Trek to focus more on our behavior and our social responsibility to ourselves. I have witnessed first-hand how our interactions and conversations are different now because of the existence of the smartphone. Many conversations revolve around our phones, while those that don’t rarely reach any meaning or depth.
The Low Tech Trek’s mission is to cultivate genuine, human relationships and facilitate human interaction. In a world that is seemingly becoming more divided, my aim is to bring us closer together. We must accept difference with open arms and continuously learn from others from diverse backgrounds. It’s the only way that we can move forward.
I come from a theatre and acting background. The skillsets one develops in the performing arts are highly beneficial to humanity and it would be unwise to ignore them. Being an actor teaches us how to be better listeners, how to communicate our viewpoints effectively, how to present ourselves, and how to remain present and aware of our surroundings. We must all be actors in our lives. I’m not saying we must be the next star on Broadway, but we must be proactive in our work and our relationships. If we take a passive stance in our lives, which is often the case in our tech-obsessed culture, then our lives will pass us by, leaving us unfulfilled, empty, and unhappy.
I use various theatre and performance theory and expertise to inspire this action in people. The Low Tech Trek is not The NO Tech Trek. I recognize technology’s wealth of opportunities and we should utilize it to the fullest as a tool for positive change. We mustn’t, however, let technology consume us, turning us into mindless zombies without a target to hit or destination to reach. Through performance-based exercises, we can reignite the flame of conversation and connection, we can grow our understanding of what it means to be human, and we can live happier and more fulfilled lives through the relationships which we build.
I have coached individuals in my practices and have just begun speaking at events related to this extremely important topic. As for the future, I am working on developing interactive and engaging workshops and creating courses that will benefit those interested in looking for more depth and meaning in their lives. The Low Tech Trek is certainly a movement towards a better, alternative way of living among the never-ending noise of the digital age. I hope you join us!
I put your original language in italics and my suggested revisions in bold.
Any terms used but not defined…
Comment: original is not logical.
Comment: adverb is not needed.
you may be unable to access certain parts of our Services
you may be unable to access certain Services
Comment: concise language is better.
This helps us serve more relevant content and information.
This helps us provide you with more relevant content and information.
Comment: serve is ambiguous here. Revision provides an object for the verb (you) and clarifies the action and who is benefitting.
We may use subcontractors, vendors, or other third-parties in order to efficiently provide our Services to you (“Service Providers”). Service Providers may provide services including, but are not limited to, providing data hosting and credit card processing services. Some Service Providers will collect information directly from you. Information collected directly from these Service Providers is governed by their privacy policies. You should view the privacy policies of Service Providers before providing information to them.
We may use subcontractors, vendors, or other third parties [hyphen not needed] in order to provide our Services (“Service Providers”). Service Providers may provide services including, but not limited to, providing data hosting and credit card processing services. Some Service Providers will collect information directly from you. Information collected directly by [not from] these Service Providers is governed by their privacy policies. You should review [not view] the privacy policies of Service Providers before providing information to them.
We may disclose Usage Information and aggregated information that cannot be used to personally identify you without restriction.
Comment: curious about what “without restriction” means in this case.
We may disclose or share your Personal Information in order to comply with any court order, law, or legal process; to respond to any government or regulatory request; or to ensure the protection of the rights, property, or safety of Siempo, our customers, or others.
Comment: parallel construction is better in a case like this. Revised language is clearer, stronger, less wordy.
We may disclose your Personal Information in order to enforce or apply our Terms and other agreements, including for billing and collection purposes.
We may disclose your Personal Information to such agencies in order to enforce or apply our Terms and other agreements, including for billing and collection purposes.
Comment: verb needs object.
Disclosed when Collected: For any other purpose, when that purpose is disclosed by us at the time that you provide the Personal Information.
Comment: suggest moving this. It is a general statement that should not be embedded in a list.
We strive to provide you with choices regarding the information you provide to us. We have created mechanisms to provide you with the following control over your information:
We strive to provide you with choices regarding the information you voluntarily share with us. The following mechanisms enable you to have control over your information:
Comment: revision is clearer, stronger. The word provide should not be used as the verb in each main clause because its meaning shifts.
If you do not wish to have your email address used by us to promote our own services or third parties, you may opt-out of receiving to such promotional messages by selecting the “unsubscribe” button as provided on any email communication from us.
If you do not wish to have your email address used by us to promote our Services [capitalize as elsewhere] or those of third parties, you may opt out of receiving such promotional messages by selecting the “unsubscribe” button provided on any email communication from us.
Comment: small errors corrected.
We have implemented measures designed to secure your Personal Information from accidental loss and from unauthorized access, use, alteration, and disclosure. Unfortunately, the transmission of information via the internet is not completely secure. Although we do our best to protect your Personal Information, we cannot guarantee the security of your Personal Information transmitted on the App. Any transmission of Personal Information is at your own risk. We are not responsible for circumvention of any privacy settings or security measures contained on the App.
We have taken measures to secure your Personal Information from accidental loss and from unauthorized access, use, alteration, and disclosure. However, the transmission of information via the internet is not completely secure. Although we do our best to protect your Personal Information, we cannot guarantee the security of your Personal Information transmitted on the App. Any transmission of Personal Information is at your own risk. We are not responsible for circumvention of any privacy settings or security measures contained on the App.
Comment: this really belongs in a site-usage or terms-of-service page. There is a kind of warning latent in the language that may bother the reader. You don’t want to introduce such a disruption, especially late in the policy.
We operate the App from the United States. If you are located outside of the United States, please be aware that information we collect will be transferred to and processed in the United States. By using the Services, or providing us with any information, you fully understand and unambiguously consent to this transfer,
We operate the App from the United States. If you are located elsewhere, please be aware that information we collect will be transferred to and processed in the United States. By using the Services, or providing us with any information, you understand and consent to this transfer,
Comment: redundancy doesn’t improve clarity. Language should be clear, simple. Adverbs aren’t needed.
Comment: start with important part first, “on this page.”
Comment: strike practices because it implies there are things that are important but not included in the policy.
Recently I discovered a program called Canva, which has numerous tools and templates that allow you to design such things as postcards, flyers, website banners, and so forth.
The above image is something I created in response to a topic on the Center for Humane Technology's forum, an online group I joined in March. In referring to the categories and subcategories being considered during a forum reorganization, one of the admins had used the terms cats and subcats.
On the right is something else I came up with: a simple flyer or poster for the organization. I thought of the word digitarian to suggest people who like to supplement their mind-body diets with digital conversations.
The designs below were shape and color experiments. It was fun to discover that flat objects could be made to appear three-dimensional by simply repeating them. I know this is a basic design principle, but it was thrilling to discover it for myself.
experiment with dark colors
experiment with bright colors
On Friday, May 18, I appeared on The Conversation, a morning talk show broadcast on KHPR. I had been invited by Chris Vandercook, a musician and the co-host, with Catherine Cruz, of the show.
A few days before, I had sent Mr. Vandercook a copy of Ms. Aligned 2 with a letter suggesting that two of the contributors appear on the show. To my surprise, he invited me to talk about the book and how it came to be.
I mentioned the 2014 writers' conference at which four other women authors and I read the work we'd written about men, and I described the concept of the moral wound that John Gardner originated in his book On Moral Fiction. The #metoo movement, the writing of contributor Cassandra Lane Rich, and future plans for Ms. Aligned also came up in the course of our conversation.
It was exciting to be talking about a project that took us—my co-editors, Connie Pan and Rebecca Thomas, and our contributors—much hard work to realize. We are grateful that The Conversation gave us the chance to share Ms. Aligned with the listeners of Hawai‘i Public Radio.
Punchbowl Coffee has a food truck—manned by the charming, bilingual (English and Japanese) Eric—on the Mānoa campus of the University of Hawai‘i. Favorite items are the energy tea and the burrito filled with peanut butter, fruits, and chia seeds.
The following news was received from photographer Wayne Levin, whom we've worked with through El León Literary Arts and Mānoa Journal. Wayne represents Hawai‘i in original, formidable images that capture the spirit and nature of these islands.
London based online magazine, The Bod Edit, published a very good article and interview of my work and thoughts about the Ocean.
On my website I have new images on my New Work page and added a new section, Ghost Corals. The catastrophic coral bleaching event on the Big Island of Hawaii in 2015-2016 killed over 50% of the corals on the Kona coast.